Romeo, Juliet, and Ron
by Fraya Morningside
Summary: It's cold. It's wet. Someone has lost a nose. The students of Hogwarts, stranded indoors, find entertainment in a school play.
1. The Parchment

Authors Note: I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters therein, much to my eternal regret. They belong to J.K. Rowling, but you already know that…so read on! For some reason this site is not accepting my commas and other puntuation so bear with me please! If you like the story please comment! Thanks and enjoy! Chapter One: The Parchment  
  
It was a dreary sort of day out, the tenth in a long succession of many. The chilled November air full of fluffy white clouds gleamed upon the newly fallen blanket of snow. No one had dared to venture out into the frigid grounds of Hogwarts for over a week because of the Bartleby Ashburn incident involving ice and a severed nose. And so Harry, much like many other students of Hogwarts, found himself huddled before the fireplace dreaming of sunshine and fresh air.  
The atmosphere in the common room was crowded but cozy. A feeling of cabin fever had settled over the students as they slowly ran out of ways to entertain themselves indoors. Curled up in a ball of bushy hair and flannel blanket, Hermione Granger sat cuddling a massive book on the history of flagger-scaled beetles while her enchanted knitting needles spun a elf hat or sock. Harry half-watched her as every few minutes she gazed over to check her progress as well as to make sure that Crookshanks, her massive ginger-haired cat, would not have go at her ball of multi-colored yarn. Harry did not think that she had much to worry about; the cat was in such a deep sleep that it hardly started to the blasting noises originating from the immediate direction of Fred and George Weasley, who were taking advantage of the close quarters that the weather demanded in peddling off some of their latest inventions.  
Lazily, Harry thumbed through a quidditch supplies catalog which byline read, Sate Your Itch With Quidditch. He was busy looking for a Christmas gift for Ron. Just as Harry began to consider filling out the order form for a book entitled, Keep It Up Keeper: all you need to know about keeping, when a flushed Neville Longbottom pushed through the Gryffindor common room, dragging behind him a lengthy roll of parchment that in his breathless state nearly tripped him. In a wheezy sort of voice he panted, "Was lost. Found flyer. Trelawney. Play."  
From her position among her wooly blankets, Hermione called out to Neville a teasing manner, "Oh, Neville, what is it this time?"  
A rush of blood made his even redder than before, he now resembled something of a ripe cherry. In a display of temper quite unusual for his personality, Neville tossed the parchment toward Hermione. Unaware of his anger, Hermione unrolled the paper and began to read aloud:  
  
Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry  
Proudly Presents:  
William Shakespeare  
Romeo and Juliet  
Directed by: Professor Sibyll Trelawney  
Auditions to be held Thursday in the Great Hall  
  
Parvati Patil jerked upright from her romance novel, that she had been re-reading for the third time in as many days, to emit a loud squeal of excitement. "How marvelous! A play! I have always wanted to act! Oh, I hope there is romance involved. I do love a good love story!"  
  
"Yeah, whatever. Do you even know who this Wilhelm Shakespeare is? For all you know it could be a horror play. I can see it now, the vampire that fell in love with the flesh-eating zombie! Watch as together they waltz into the night stalking unsuspecting prey," Ron Weasley jested and an echo of laughter rang through the once lifeless room with the energy that had gone missing since the last day of warm weather. With a pat on the back from his brothers and a huff from an offended Parvati, Ron turned toward Harry for agreement.  
"Ron, Ron, Ron. It is William not Wilhelm. And besides, I refuse to let you drag his wonderful works down to that level. The man was a genius! In each of his classic dramas he tells the tragic tale of love, intrigue, jealousy, revenge, insanity, and deception. I have to say that for once I agree with the taste of the Professor," Hermione informed a now silent room.  
"Once again Hermione, you have thoroughly killed the moment. Anyway, who is this bloke William ? If he is so famous why have I not heard of him?" sneered a self-important Ron.  
"Since when did the idea of genius begin and end with you? You can be so dense sometimes! William Shakespeare is a muggle playwright from the Elizabethan period of the sixteenth century, for your information. Perhaps you should consider enrolling in Muggle Studies next term," Hermione best emphasized the more demeaning words to prove her indignation and having been ridiculed.  
Ron blushed, his hair clashing horribly with his face. Looking down he began muttering to himself, angry for having lost once more to Hermione and her superior intelligence. Harry felt a ping of sympathy for his beaten friend.  
Harry himself knew a little about the story of Romeo and Juliet, Aunt Petunia had a thing for bad movies, but he had never actually watched through to the end of the story. He knew however that this play would definitely cause some much needed drama in the school, drama that would most likely encompass those same qualities of: jealousy, revenge, deception, and insanity. He just hoped that they would be able to survive it. 


	2. The Stage

Notes of the Author: J.K.Rowling owns all. Me nothing. Boo-hoo  
  
Chapter 2: The Stage  
  
The Great Hall was far too silent for as many people as were in the room. Nearly every student of the school was lined  
  
up along the walls, memorizing as many lines as possible before the big audition. At the head of the room, a particularly proud  
  
and anxious Trelawney sat before a makeshift stage ready to criticize those brave enough to mount it. From her seat before the  
  
crowd, the gaudy professor called out to the still room, "Now, students, welcome to Hogwarts first annual theatrical production.  
  
I am pleased to be here today and greatly look forward to witnessing your auditions. Auditions will be voluntary, so who among  
  
you feel brave enough to go first?"  
  
Faces paled, knees quaked, and some third year fainted. From amid the panic a haughty Hermione raised her hand in the  
  
air waving it to and fro as she as she uttered breaths of excitement. Ron rolled his eyes toward the ceiling, Harry had to agree.  
  
Professor Trelawney pulled her glasses down along the bridge of her nose and peering over the rim of her frames gazed out into  
  
the crowd focusing on the origin of the noise. Raising an eyebrow she sited Hermione, "Why Miss Granger, it has been some  
  
time now, has it not? Please, begin."  
  
Unafraid of the glare lurking in the eye of the professor, Hermione crossed the room and climbed onstage. Below,  
  
Trelawney asked, "Now, Miss Granger, what role shall you be assuming for us today?" Everyone else in the room shivered at  
  
the restrained hatred in the voice of the professor, that is, all but Hermione, who calmly stated, "Well, I am well versed in  
  
Shakespeare having read his collective works back in primary school. I am proud to say that I am able to assume any role  
  
required but for today I will be performing the dramatic role of Juliet Capulet the gentle and tragic lead. I daresay that-"  
  
Interrupting, Trelawney waved her hand to stop the eager talk of Hermione. Inhaling deeply, Harry watched as she  
  
began reciting the lines. Harry considered her performance like the many others present as both superb, and terribly boring.  
  
"Well, Miss Granger. I must say that you by far surpassed my expectations," Trelawney drawled, continuing with, "but I  
  
do believe that your performance lacked any inflection whatsoever. This play may end in tragedy my dear, but it must not be one  
  
in and of itself. There is always so much one can learn from books. You had best learn what cannot be learned in the text my  
  
dear. You would make a great understudy however, I will promise to keep you in mind."  
  
Hermione, who had been so unaware of everything mere moments ago, was overwhelmed by the looks shot her way.  
  
Harry looked towards her with sympathy as she blushed and dashed from the stage. He would have gone after her, but he and  
  
Ron had just earlier this morning promised that under no circumstances would he not audition. That and she was not one prone  
  
to accepting sympathy kindly. He rather valued his life.  
  
After that last and shocking episode many of the hopeful actors had exited the Great Hall in want of their own safety. A  
  
cocky Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin House pack leader, walked proudly toward the stage. Puffing out his chest, "I am going to a  
  
better job than any silly old mudblood," Malfoy sneered and redirected his gaze toward the teacher, "today I will be portraying  
  
Romeo, or whatever his name was. And I had best get the part, you would not want my father dragged into all of this now would  
  
you?"  
  
A rapid succession of auditions passed nearly as quickly as the time. A shy fourth year droned through the lines of the  
  
nurse and Ginny gave a stirring performance of Lady Capulet that would have been truly remarkable except that she was a  
  
fourteen year old girl playing the role of a thirty year old mother. Harry had made it through all right, but Ron had been a total  
  
failure. From the moment he had walked on stage his voice had evaporated. The lines that had been written so neatly across his  
  
palm had proved of little use. And the extent of his performance focused on the flailing arm and other body movements he used  
  
to convey his message. Harry decided that if Ron ever wanted to become a mime, he would have impressed his audience very  
  
much. From the look on her face Professor Trelawney was not a mime enthusiast.  
  
The afternoon slowly waned into a rather anticlimactic conclusion. Trelawney stood from her seat and shooed the  
  
hopefuls out of the room, many of them near tears. "The results will be posted next Tuesday, outside my classroom. Good  
  
luck!"  
  
Harry followed the others out of the room. So far this was turning out to be one of the most tragic events to hit Hogwarts  
  
this term. 


End file.
